Birth story

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First, I love our birth story. It’s long. It’s so much different than what I ever thought or imagined it would look like, but in all ways it’s perfect. 
Todd and I have been together over 8 years now, married for three. We enjoyed our first year with no pressure of thinking of babies just countinued to enjoy each other and travel and do life together. Then we decided we were ready for a baby. That’s a funny thing when you think “you” can decide anything.. Getting pregnant by no means was as hard as others roads but ours wasn’t easy either. It took a little bit and I always tell people, you learn through life that if you do A,B, and C you can achieve the results. Well that’s not how this works. So as we felt we were doing everything, the results weren’t coming. I had so much amazing support though from best friends I really trusted. One of my very best, countinued to remind me (whom she wasn’t able to have children) that my story was being written, and allow that to happen, have faith in it, and do not let someone else’s story become yours. Meaning don’t have fear about the what ifs.

Anyways. We got pregnant!! I’m not going all into my pregnancy. I got headaches in the beginning. I had hard crying moments when I felt huge. I may have yelled at people who asked the rude twin questions and couldn’t believe I was only 7 months. Whatever.

  
We took an 8 week birthing class with a doula (who we HIGHLY love and recommend, her link is at the bottom) it was intense and geared souly towards a natural birth. We had a birth “plan” I again had lists galore, hospital bag, Finns bag, Todd’s bag, car seat, blah blah. (I packed way too much, I mean a curling iron. Stop)

I started the month before I was due prepping in ways I was told would help with labor. Primrose oil. Walking every day 2 or 3 miles.

Every check was the same. Maybe 1cm and 60% effaced.

39 weeks, had my membranes stripped. Nothing. 40 weeks membranes stripped second time. Nope.  I had already started maternity leave and decided I wasn’t going to sit around so did clients the two days after my due date till Christmas Day. Went through the holiday with no baby. I was using essential oils, running, squating, spicey foods, jumping, curb walking, sexing, nipple stimulating (sorry I know it’s a lot of info) and I drank castor oil twice. 41 weeks. Membranes stripped, with zero progression, finally we were told we would get scheduled for an induction. The hospital was full though and they said it would take another week. I was distraught. I was concerned at this point for the wellbeing on Finn. Was my placenta giving him what he needed? We’re my fluids still ok? Four days after they finally had room for me, we went in on a Thursday and started the process.


(Reading the letter from Todd, he wrote weeks prior.)

We didn’t tell anyone. I really don’t think our parents even knew? We just really wanted it to be us for a little while. As these were our last moments as a twosome. I was put on cervidil for 12 hours through the evening. Friday we woke up and they checked me and I was still the same. 1 cm. we started pitocin. Again it was just Todd and I. I walked around. Bounced on a ball. Laughed. Watched mad men. After 12 hours of pitocin and getting to the highest dose, we stopped, I was maybe 2 cm. so the doctor gave the option of breaking my water or doing a cervical balloon ripener. We didn’t feel breaking my water was the right option because it introduces bacteria and it puts you on a time limit of when you will have to deliver the baby. So we decided to take a quick break eat a little and then start my next dose of Pitocin in an hour and to do the cervical balloon ripener. The balloon is a tube that’s inserted, filled up with water and forces you to dilate. This sent me into full active labor and full on contractions. It was INTENSE. Every bit of peace and calmness was gone and I was a bit like the movies. I was on zero meds. I wanted no one to speak, I wanted it dark, and just listened to worship music. (Make a play list!!) They checked me two hours after, pulled the balloon out and I was at a 6-7. I labored a bit longer and then decided for a epidural. It was about 8 pm on Friday. Instant relief. They broke my water at 3 am. I was 8 cm. I was on pitocin again. Saturday am family was there. Just our parents. And my very best friend. Around noon I finally got to 10 cm. hello. I cried when she said ok you can start to push. I pushed with my mum. My nurse. And Todd. I pushed for 2 hours on every contraction. I threw up during some of it. The doctor came in to asess, I pushed with her. She said he was big. He wasn’t coming past my pelvic bone. Was it my pushing? No she said. I was doing all I could. She mentioned she could try to vacuume him out but knew that it wasn’t what we wanted or what she thought was best either. I said we will push 30 more minutes if there is ZERO progression we are ready to move forward with a c section. We pushed. He stayed. We calmly and faithfully were ready to deliver our boy in a different way. We had things in our birth plan for a c section too. I wasn’t upset. I was happy and ready. My best friend prayed over us. Todd got “scrubbed in”. My mom cried out of concern and loving her daughter. I got wheeled back.

I was shaking and cold. And still very nauseous. I didn’t like the tugging and pulling. But when we heard Finnegans first whimper, I can’t. I loved this baby boy. He was here. He was ours. And I was a mother. And Todd was a father. And we were a family of three. Wow.

  
Todd did skin to skin with Finn from the moment he was born. He held him next to my face with him on his chest. I love that he got to be the nurturer. He was with him in his first moments. He protected him. And I felt safe knowing that Todd had Finnegan.


   

I was throwing up during my c section also. Which is no fun while laying flat and cut open. But hey, we got through that! I went into recovery and finally held my boy. And nursed him. It’s all a bit of a blur.


  
 As I said. I love our story. Gods hands were on us always. He is faithful. Finnegan was ill positioned. With his chin up and his head turned side ways, his hand was by his face, his umbilical cord was wrapped around his arm and body. So who knows the issues we could have ran into if I had been so prone on vaginal delivery. He was 8 pounds 12 ounces, 14 inch head. He was born at 3:42 pm. He is perfect. Our nurses were angles and life lines. My favorite doctor delivered our babe. It was a dream.

Moral of the story, have ideas, have soft plans, prepare in ways you can and enjoy those things, but mostly prepare for the unknown and rest in that your story is written. Gods hands are on you and with you. And, The day you make anything about YOU, and what YOU want, especially when it comes to your kids, you’ve dropped the ball. The end goal ALWAYS for Todd and I was to deliver a healthy baby into this world, no matter what that journey looked like.. And we accomplished our goal.

Sorry so long. Hope our story gives someone an ounce of comfort in their own journey.


Current, now the parenting journey.

xx, C.

Photos taken by Catey Carey at Radiant

Our doula classes (birth works)  were with Amara

And we delivered at  Sentara princess Anne where we had the most outstanding care and staff 

Comments

  1. Leigh Broome

    Talk about having to hold back my tears on my lunch break! Love your story and have enjoyed reading your blog! It’s amazing how different everyone’s birth story is and how you think you know what to expect but really, you have no idea.Hats off to you, strong woman. God only gives us what He knows we can handle and apparently you are a warrior queen. I don’t see how women give birth without an epidural. I was practically screaming for one at 6cm and almost got out of the bed to hunt down the anesthesiologist myself!

  2. Laura

    I just cried crocodile tears! Honestly that was beautiful bc that is how it should be. You may not have had the birth you invisioned, but you had the birth the Lord knew you would have. He knew you were tough enough and faith filled enough to endure. And he guided you through.

  3. Jenn Williamson

    Wow! Tears, goosebumps and overweening emotions. It is so beautiful to see how much you and Tod cherish your amazing gift! I knew you would be an amazing mother.

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